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These are some Funny Redneck things that I have found that you might enjoy

38 Things You will never here a redneck say

38. Get that dog out of my truck!
36. Now why would anyone need a coon dog?
35. Turn that country music down!
34. How can people listen to Bluegrass music?!
33. Son, Speak proper english.
32. I dont like huntin'!
31. Nascar is boring!
30. That gun is too big for me to shoot!
29. Dont run that deer over!
28.  I dont want to go huntin'!
27. Lets Move to the city!
26. Oh I just could'nt...She's only 16.
25.I'll take Shakespeare for 1000 Alex.
24. Duct tape wont fix that!
23. We dont keep guns in this house.
22. You cant feed that to the dog.
21. No kids you cant ride in the back of the truck! Its just not safe!
20. Wrasslins fake!
19. We're vegetarians.
18. Do you think my gut is too big?
17. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
16. Honey we dont need another dog!
15. Who's Richard Petty?
14. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
13. Too many deer heads destract from the decor.
12. Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
11. I just couldnt find a thing at WalMart today!
10. Trim the fat off that steak.
9. The tires on that truck are too big.
8. I've got it all on the c drive.
7. My fiance Bobbie Jo is registered at Tiffanys!
6. Little Debbie Snack cakes have too many fat grams.
5. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
4. Hey theres an episode of "Hee Haw" we've never seen!
3. I dont have a favorite college team!
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer Darla.
1. Nope, No more for me, I'm drivin tonight!

Redneck New Year Resolutions

1. Try to drown a fish.
2. Buy your jewlery at a hardware store.
3.Knock the spider webs down so you can get to the bathroom.
4. Vacuume the sheets instead of washing them.
5. Buy a 6 pack of beer with pennies.
6. Try not to mistake your aunt Betty for a man.
7.Rake the leaves in your kitchen.
8. Buy a shirt that will cover your stomach.
9. Wear a tube top to your next wedding.
10. Find the stuffed possums in your house.
11. Mow your lawn to find your car.
12. Spit without opening your mouth.

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