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Redneck jokes by Jeff Foxworthy

1. You've been married 3 times and still have the same inlaws.
2. You think Possum is "The other white meat."
3. You think a quarter horse is a ride in front of WalMart.
4. You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner is "Gentlemen start your engines!"
5. You take a load to the dump and you come back with more than you took.
6. You think fast food is hittin' a deer at 65 mph.
7. Your family tree doesnt fork.
8. The 5th grade was the best 6 years of your life.
9. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
10. Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
11. Your dad walks you to school because your in the same grade.
12. Your house doesnt have curtains but your truck does.
13. Your Halloween pumkin has more teeth than you do.
14. Your huntin dog cost more than your truck.
15. You stare at an orange juice container because it says "Concentrate".
16. Your idea of entertainment includes a 6 pack of beer and a bug zapper.
17. Anyone in your family's last words were "Hey ya'll watch this!"
18. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
19. Your wife's hairdo has ever been destroyed by a ceiling fan.
20. You've got more than 3 cousins named Bubba.
21. You have more belt buckles than pants.
22. Your house still has the "Wide Load" sign on the back of it.
23. You have a rebel flag on your truck.
24. Your grandmother can spit further than you.
25. Your truck has at least 3 colors.
26. The biggest city you've ever been to is WalMart.
27. You cant visit relatives without getting mud on the tires.
28. You've ever caught bugs just to throw them in the bug zapper.
29. You drive across town to see a car accident.
30. Your favorite t-shirt is considered offensive in at least 13 states.
31. You think the theory of relativity has something to do with inbreeding.
32. You cant marry your sweetheart because there is a law against it.
33. Your mailbox holds up one end of your clothes line.
34. Your dog house and your bedroom have the same carpeting.
35. You think a stock tip is advice on wormin your hogs.
36. You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
37. You hooked up with your present girlfriend as a result of a message on the wall of the men's room.
38. You've ever named a child after a dog.
39. You wish your outhouse was as nice as the ones at the state park.
40. Your junior/senior prom had a daycare.
41. You see a billboard that says "Say no to Crack" and it reminds you to pull up your pants.
42. You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin dog.
43. You wonder how service stations keep their bathrooms so clean.
44. Your aunt and grandmother went to a funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.

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